Relationship Red Flags

As I have more people seek me out for advice I noticed a trend among most of them.  People see the relationship red flags but tend to marginalize them so they can continue in a bad relationship.

The rationalization is a normal human reaction especially for a romantic relationship.  We want to keep thinking that our relationship is going well, and what happened was just a one time thing and is not a big deal.  The reality is some things are relationship red flags which often times to signal the end of a relationship starting or ending.

I have covered some of the most frequent ones I see, but there are many more and just like anything there are always exceptions based on context.


  • Infidelity
    • If you find that your significant other is cheating on your or actively searching for someone to cheat on you with that’s a huge relationship red flag for obvious reasons.
  • Consistent deception
    • Your significant other constantly lies to you or is very defensive when you start asking a few questions about their day or what they did this week.  If you ask to use their phone to look up something just because yours isn’t around for the moment and they freak out on you and won’t let you then they’re probably hiding something.
  • Controlling
    • If you’re being treated as a servant and not as an equal then who wants to be with that (unless you’re mutually into that kind of thing)?  No one wants someone dictating every bit of their life.
  • Apathy
    • This one may apply more once you’re already in a relationship.  If your significant other is very apathetic about everything and doesn’t want to help contribute and grow your relationship then it can be a red flag that they’re becoming disinterested.

Now the next question is always well if I am experiencing one of these what do I do next?  The first answer is having a direct conversation with the person who is exhibiting these behaviors to see what’s really going on.  Quite often there is a root problem but these behaviors are just what we see; symptoms of the true illness if you will.

When you have your discussion make it just that a discussion; do not be accusatory or allow your emotions to get the better of you. 

If after your conversation you’re at an impasse then take some time to decide what is best for you.  It may not come easily, but you need to do the best thing for you.

What are some other relationship red flags you’ve experienced? Please let us know below!


“Don’t ignore a red flag if you see it.”

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