Relationship Red Flags

As I have more people seek me out for advice I noticed a trend among most of them.  People see the relationship red flags but tend to marginalize them so they can continue in a bad relationship.

The rationalization is a normal human reaction especially for a romantic relationship.  We want to keep thinking that our relationship is going well, and what happened was just a one time thing and is not a big deal.  The reality is some things are relationship red flags which often times to signal the end of a relationship starting or ending.

I have covered some of the most frequent ones I see, but there are many more and just like anything there are always exceptions based on context.


  • Infidelity
    • If you find that your significant other is cheating on your or actively searching for someone to cheat on you with that’s a huge relationship red flag for obvious reasons.
  • Consistent deception
    • Your significant other constantly lies to you or is very defensive when you start asking a few questions about their day or what they did this week.  If you ask to use their phone to look up something just because yours isn’t around for the moment and they freak out on you and won’t let you then they’re probably hiding something.
  • Controlling
    • If you’re being treated as a servant and not as an equal then who wants to be with that (unless you’re mutually into that kind of thing)?  No one wants someone dictating every bit of their life.
  • Apathy
    • This one may apply more once you’re already in a relationship.  If your significant other is very apathetic about everything and doesn’t want to help contribute and grow your relationship then it can be a red flag that they’re becoming disinterested.

Now the next question is always well if I am experiencing one of these what do I do next?  The first answer is having a direct conversation with the person who is exhibiting these behaviors to see what’s really going on.  Quite often there is a root problem but these behaviors are just what we see; symptoms of the true illness if you will.

When you have your discussion make it just that a discussion; do not be accusatory or allow your emotions to get the better of you. 

If after your conversation you’re at an impasse then take some time to decide what is best for you.  It may not come easily, but you need to do the best thing for you.

What are some other relationship red flags you’ve experienced? Please let us know below!


“Don’t ignore a red flag if you see it.”


Are They Into You?!?!

I have been on reddit recently and I have answered this question so many times in my short time there that I wanted to give some attention to that topic here as well.

So you’re trying to read someone else to see if they’re in to you or not? Don’t worry you’re not alone; I have 3 ways that will help you determine if the other person is in to you or not.  All of these 3 may not apply to all situations, but they should cover the majority of the dilemmas in life for you.

#3 They make time for you.

If you make someone happy and their life more enjoyable then they will make time for you outside their busy schedule.  They will seek you out even after they’re exhausted from a busy day and genuinely want to spend time with you no matter how tired they are.  They may also come to you with problems that they would like your help solving.  If they make time for you then it’s a sign that they’re into you.

#2 They find convenient ways to physically touch you

This one has been tried and true for many years.  If you’re in casual conversation and the other person keeps moving in closer to you, touches your arm while speaking/laughing, or even offers up a high five these are all good signs.  People don’t want to touch other people who they don’t feel comfortable with or who they don’t like/know outside of a standard greeting.  If you get a hug that lasts longer than 2 seconds that’s an excellent sign and so is holding hands or just resting one on top of yours. 

This is NOT an excuse to be creepy and if you feel uncomfortable then promptly tell them not to touch you again!


#1 You tell them you’re into them

This is the hardest but easiest way to find out if someone is in to you!  Just express your feelings and tell them that you’re interested in spending more time with them or that you really enjoy talking to them.  You need to be forward and communicate how you feel in order to get an honest reaction/feedback from the other person.  The best place to start a relationship is with open/honest communication and there’s no better time to state your position than right at first.

Please don’t come on too strong and tell them that they’re “THE ONE” and you want to get married next week before you’ve even gotten their name.  That’s strange and will make the other person sprint out of the room, and if it doesn’t then they may be crazier than you!!!


Please let me know if these helped you find out if they were into you!


Find me on Reddit HERE






This morning as I was driving to work I got a phone call from my wife asking where a check was we had received in the mail late last week.  I offered a couple places for her to look but to no avail.  She asked me if I had thrown it away and of course I didn’t think that I did because why would I throw something away that was important on purpose?

Of course this morning was trash day as well and she was fortunate enough to be able to go back out and dig through the trash.  The good news is that she was able to find the check so it’s smiles all around, but I did readily admit that I was wrong and probably threw the check away in the first place by being careless and not inspecting it.

My wife was very upset at me, and not because I accidentally threw away the check; accidents do happen.  It’s because I was careless.  If I had taken the time to look through each item I would have noticed the check and separated it out accordingly.

I was mad at myself when she told me that she had found the check in the trash, but I immediately apologized and told her that I would never do it on purpose which she understood.  I have always been one who would rather extend the olive branch of apology and peace instead of being an obstinate man and keep up the useless fighting.  In most cases in a relationship it doesn’t matter who is wrong or right the incident happened let’s apologize and make it work.

There is nothing to be gained in a relationship by holding a grudge or trying to be the one who is more right despite what we may all joke about no one is always right everyone makes mistakes.  The key to making long term relationships work is learning from your mistakes and trying to better yourself as to not make the same one again.  It will not be the last time I admit that I was wrong.

I want each of you to try extending the olive branch the next time you and your significant other have a disagreement.  Say that you’re sorry first even if it wasn’t your fault and discuss ways to prevent the same thing from happening again.

Comment below and let us know what happened!


The key to making long term relationships work is learning from your mistakes and trying to better yourself as to not make the same one again.