Why are we here?

Goal Revisited

Well my goal date has come and gone while I may not have fully accomplished my goals I did learn several things. Here is My Goal Revisited.

I did enjoy getting out and promoting this blog among several of you who are my avid readers, and while I did not post as much content as I thought I could this definitely gave me a good outlet to express several things I could not otherwise.  Below are the original goals that I set forth back in February when I first started this blog.

Goal #1- Write at least 3 posts per week until April 1st, 2018. 

Goal #2- Have Fun! This is supposed to be an outlet not a job

Goal #3- Write about one topic from the suggestion box.

 

I did not quite get in at least 3 posts per week nor was I able to write about one topic from the suggestion box because everyone is too shy to give me an idea.  Perhaps I can reach goal #3 at a later date as you become more comfortable with my works.

The good news for all of you is that I have had a lot of experiences over the last 2 weeks and I am going to disclose a few of them on here because I think it can be relevant to many of you.  I did have a period of time where not much was happening so I didn’t have any new material to provide for you, but then I got an injury/illness so I do have some details of that to update you on later this week.

My next goal is going to be revisiting goal #1 with some consistency.  I thoroughly enjoyed the writing when I began this project, but I did let life get in the way several times and decide not to write.  Far Cry 5 did also release so I have been keeping my free time occupied with that at night after the kid goes to bed.

I will see you a few more times over this week, and we will have more Goal Revisited posts as they come up.

 

 

Why can’t I finish things?

       This post may not be exactly about what you’re thinking, but my wife the other day said “I just want you to finish something”.  This was very eye opening for me, and it really has had me thinking for the last few days: “Why can’t I finish things”?  She is right I have started a few things lately which have ended up unfinished.  Right now I have a half started woodworking project in the garage, and I haven’t taken my salesforce certification test again I just keep putting it off.

I start things with the best intentions, but I stop doing them once they begin to get complicated or I am not easily successful at them.  I started that woodworking project weeks ago and I stopped after I got side tracked on doing this blog and website.  I think I was trying to focus on too many new things at once and I was unable to manage my free time very well in order to do both projects at once.

After she mentioned this to me I really started to think what have I started in life and then never finished?  The first thing that came to mind was my weight goals, I’d love to lose more weight but who wouldn’t.  I think this is more of an on going battle than something that has a definitive start and finish.

The more recent examples of the wood project and salesforce are much better concrete examples of something has had a beginning and an end.  I get very focused on it and I can stay focused on something new for a couple of weeks but then I start to lose interest or I find myself putting up a roadblock so I can’t finish it without removing that.  I cannot decide what I want the wood project to be anymore, it started off as a box but then I couldn’t visualize how easily it was going to come together with my salvaged wood because everything is a different thickness and I don’t have a planer to help with that.  So I felt stuck on the project until I decided that I wanted to put time and effort back into solving the problem.

The other recent non finishing thing has been the Salesforce Administrator exam which I studied for about 2-3 weeks and then failed the exam.  I was so upset and mad at myself that I just gave up on it and haven’t cracked another book open to even try again.  That’s been about 3 months now so it’s time that I get back on the wagon and start reading and studying again so I can pass this test and hopefully get a better paying job to provide for my family.

My goal for this week is to get my passport renewed which just involves filling out some paperwork and sending in some money.  I just have to print off the sheets or do the automatic fill in online and then print it off with my picture attached which I already have done.  It should be an easy task, but the roadblock in front of me is that I need to find my old one to get some information off of before I can submit the paperwork.  I know where it is I’ve just been too lazy to go and get it.

The real question is how can I get better at finishing things that I start instead of just leaving them half done sitting around?  I think I have found a solution and that is to start scheduling time to do those things on my calendar and inviting my wife so that she knows what I’m planning on doing and when to try and help me make time for the things that I would like to do.

If you start scheduling your life instead of just sitting there each night then you would be amazed at how much time you really do have to finish things.  Now that’s not to mean that I will sacrifice time with my son while he’s awake, I will just have to stay up a little bit later or get up earlier in the morning in order to get the things accomplished that are important to me. 

 

Which is a fancy way of saying stop being lazy, get off your butt and finish things!


Stop being lazy and finding excuses! Find ways to finish things!!!

 

 

Relationship Red Flags

As I have more people seek me out for advice I noticed a trend among most of them.  People see the relationship red flags but tend to marginalize them so they can continue in a bad relationship.

The rationalization is a normal human reaction especially for a romantic relationship.  We want to keep thinking that our relationship is going well, and what happened was just a one time thing and is not a big deal.  The reality is some things are relationship red flags which often times to signal the end of a relationship starting or ending.

I have covered some of the most frequent ones I see, but there are many more and just like anything there are always exceptions based on context.

 

  • Infidelity
    • If you find that your significant other is cheating on your or actively searching for someone to cheat on you with that’s a huge relationship red flag for obvious reasons.
  • Consistent deception
    • Your significant other constantly lies to you or is very defensive when you start asking a few questions about their day or what they did this week.  If you ask to use their phone to look up something just because yours isn’t around for the moment and they freak out on you and won’t let you then they’re probably hiding something.
  • Controlling
    • If you’re being treated as a servant and not as an equal then who wants to be with that (unless you’re mutually into that kind of thing)?  No one wants someone dictating every bit of their life.
  • Apathy
    • This one may apply more once you’re already in a relationship.  If your significant other is very apathetic about everything and doesn’t want to help contribute and grow your relationship then it can be a red flag that they’re becoming disinterested.

Now the next question is always well if I am experiencing one of these what do I do next?  The first answer is having a direct conversation with the person who is exhibiting these behaviors to see what’s really going on.  Quite often there is a root problem but these behaviors are just what we see; symptoms of the true illness if you will.

When you have your discussion make it just that a discussion; do not be accusatory or allow your emotions to get the better of you. 

If after your conversation you’re at an impasse then take some time to decide what is best for you.  It may not come easily, but you need to do the best thing for you.

What are some other relationship red flags you’ve experienced? Please let us know below!

 

“Don’t ignore a red flag if you see it.”

 

Are They Into You?!?!

I have been on reddit recently and I have answered this question so many times in my short time there that I wanted to give some attention to that topic here as well.

So you’re trying to read someone else to see if they’re in to you or not? Don’t worry you’re not alone; I have 3 ways that will help you determine if the other person is in to you or not.  All of these 3 may not apply to all situations, but they should cover the majority of the dilemmas in life for you.

#3 They make time for you.

If you make someone happy and their life more enjoyable then they will make time for you outside their busy schedule.  They will seek you out even after they’re exhausted from a busy day and genuinely want to spend time with you no matter how tired they are.  They may also come to you with problems that they would like your help solving.  If they make time for you then it’s a sign that they’re into you.

#2 They find convenient ways to physically touch you

This one has been tried and true for many years.  If you’re in casual conversation and the other person keeps moving in closer to you, touches your arm while speaking/laughing, or even offers up a high five these are all good signs.  People don’t want to touch other people who they don’t feel comfortable with or who they don’t like/know outside of a standard greeting.  If you get a hug that lasts longer than 2 seconds that’s an excellent sign and so is holding hands or just resting one on top of yours. 

This is NOT an excuse to be creepy and if you feel uncomfortable then promptly tell them not to touch you again!

 

#1 You tell them you’re into them

This is the hardest but easiest way to find out if someone is in to you!  Just express your feelings and tell them that you’re interested in spending more time with them or that you really enjoy talking to them.  You need to be forward and communicate how you feel in order to get an honest reaction/feedback from the other person.  The best place to start a relationship is with open/honest communication and there’s no better time to state your position than right at first.

Please don’t come on too strong and tell them that they’re “THE ONE” and you want to get married next week before you’ve even gotten their name.  That’s strange and will make the other person sprint out of the room, and if it doesn’t then they may be crazier than you!!!

 

Please let me know if these helped you find out if they were into you!

 

Find me on Reddit HERE

 

 

 

 

 

This morning as I was driving to work I got a phone call from my wife asking where a check was we had received in the mail late last week.  I offered a couple places for her to look but to no avail.  She asked me if I had thrown it away and of course I didn’t think that I did because why would I throw something away that was important on purpose?

Of course this morning was trash day as well and she was fortunate enough to be able to go back out and dig through the trash.  The good news is that she was able to find the check so it’s smiles all around, but I did readily admit that I was wrong and probably threw the check away in the first place by being careless and not inspecting it.

My wife was very upset at me, and not because I accidentally threw away the check; accidents do happen.  It’s because I was careless.  If I had taken the time to look through each item I would have noticed the check and separated it out accordingly.

I was mad at myself when she told me that she had found the check in the trash, but I immediately apologized and told her that I would never do it on purpose which she understood.  I have always been one who would rather extend the olive branch of apology and peace instead of being an obstinate man and keep up the useless fighting.  In most cases in a relationship it doesn’t matter who is wrong or right the incident happened let’s apologize and make it work.

There is nothing to be gained in a relationship by holding a grudge or trying to be the one who is more right despite what we may all joke about no one is always right everyone makes mistakes.  The key to making long term relationships work is learning from your mistakes and trying to better yourself as to not make the same one again.  It will not be the last time I admit that I was wrong.

I want each of you to try extending the olive branch the next time you and your significant other have a disagreement.  Say that you’re sorry first even if it wasn’t your fault and discuss ways to prevent the same thing from happening again.

Comment below and let us know what happened!

 

The key to making long term relationships work is learning from your mistakes and trying to better yourself as to not make the same one again.

 

 

 

 

 

The Background

On a very stormy night in August 2016 my entire life changed, it was that night I became a Father for the first time to my son.  Now I had already known for weeks that I was going to have a son, and the day I found out my heart was bursting with joy.  That night when they placed my son in my arms for the very first time was a very intense feeling inside.  The immense feeling of happiness, but also the realization of responsibility for another human life.  I soon realized that I knew very little about infants and their needs/wants, but I tried to be the best father that I knew how to be.

Most father’s I have met only learned what it meant to be a father from their fathers.  There is no instruction manual that comes with your child, and even if there was we’re men we wouldn’t read it anyway!!  I began to wonder how I could be a great father to my son, but I didn’t think I was equipped properly at the time on how to be a great father.

I must stop here and tell you that my father and mother were both present during my childhood and beyond so I did have my father in my life.  He did a good job as a father and I don’t have any major complaints about how he raised me.  One of the lessons he did instill in me was to always find a way to better the next generation, and it’s not specific on how or what but to just make sure they have more opportunities than you had as a kid.

 

The Review

This book takes place from the view of a child psychologist and the interviews with his patient’s over the years.  It’s not a clinical book and does not use fancy medical terms instead it keeps the spirit of the real issues the father’s and son’s are disconnecting.

When I started reading this book I began to feel that I wasn’t adequate with how I was already handling situations with my son, but I soon realized that most of these situations were occurring at an age much older than my son is now.  This book did help me see the small steps I can take now as he grows up to help alleviate some of the problems later.

 The book addresses the #1 problem as being feelings and how to express/communicate them between father and son.  Society teaches men that they should show no emotion and only keep it bottled inside never to be opened no matter the situation.  If we as father’s teach our sons this same principle then we are just perpetuating the cycle.  YOU need to show your son that it is appropriate to express feelings including sadness and crying.  These are normal emotions that need to be conveyed in order to be human.

I want to encourage all of you to read this book, yes there’s even a chapter in it for moms that made me appreciate my wife even more.  If you want to have a better relationship with your son and better the next generation read this book. 

Take some time out of your day to improve your life because if you do it will also improve his.

 

I have provided a link below to where you can purchase the book. (I will get paid if you use that link to purchase your book)

Purchase Book

 

 

Take some time out of your day to improve your life because if you do it will also improve his.

This has been one of the best decisions that has helped to organize and simplify my life after of course marrying my wife who is just awesome at everything and by far the most organized person I know.  Let me tell you how to simplify your inbox.

This program which is called Unroll.Me has helped to simplify my inbox faster than I ever could have on my own.  This is a free program to use (I also do not make money if you sign up for it) that helps to summarize the emails that you choose into one “Roll Up” that can help you stop from sifting through your emails all day looking for an important one.

Before I used this program I would get so many alerts per day for just dumb emails that I didn’t care about and half I couldn’t remember signing up for anyway.  I can honestly say that I was in email hell.

My wife turned me onto this website while I was complaining about having to unsubscribe from all of these places, and as usual she was right this thing was amazing.  I went from over 100 emails a day down to less than 25 in about 10 minutes.

Here’s how it works :

You’ll sign up and allow the program permission to run in your email box then it will filter through and pick out the subscriptions or recurring emails that you’re receiving.

You can then choose from 3 options:

  1. Keep in Inbox
  2. Unsubscribe (My personal favorite)
  3. Roll Up

You can then hand pick the emails you want to see in your inbox, the ones you’d rather see a summary of, and finally the ones you want to get rid of forever!  This program will continue to work for you each day showing you new email subscriptions that you can properly categorize to help make your life easier.

 

Please comment below to let me know how you were able to simplify your inbox!

Why are we here?

I have been longing to write a blog for sometime now, and I don’t know why the spark finally hit but it did.  If you were to try and identify a reason it should probably be out of the indifference in my life that I am experiencing.  This is not to say at all that happiness and joy doesn’t abound in my life because it does when I am at home with my family, but I believe my life isn’t fully fulfilled outside of my home.  

I think most people would call this a “rut” and I can understand why, but this feels more like a failure to reach full potential.  On the inside I feel that I have so much more to offer and that I should be excelling in so many areas of life but there’s this sense of complacency hindering me.  I’m trying to find the jolt to kick myself in the butt and get out of this funk, and maybe this blog is the motivation or perhaps not but the only way to find out is to try and see where it goes.

 

I have listed out some goals for myself for this adventure, and I’m excited to have you join me.

Goal #1- Write at least 3 posts per week until April 1st, 2018. 

Goal #2- Have Fun! This is supposed to be an outlet not a job

Goal #3- Write about one topic from the suggestion box.

 

This blog will contain ideas/topics/discussions from many categories including food, relationships, money, and anything else that comes to mind or happens in my life.  I considered focusing in the blog on just one topic like food, but I thought that would really restrict my outlet into a niche that would likely not be able to cover the topics of life. It’s hard for me to fathom, but there is more to life than food!  

Well there you have it, the basics about this blog and where I think it will go but just like life it’s unpredictable.

Until next time

– J